Sometimes we miss someone we shouldn’t miss. We have no clue as to why we miss them just that for some reason we do. What ever that reason is, there is no denying the fact that there gone. Even if there never coming back.
My mom spawned my love for the US Air Force always taking me to the Academy when ever she could, encouraging my dreams of being in the military since I was crawling. I easily became the most outspoken patriot in my school and most likely in my county; still I am.
But this day a year ago she left.
I do not understand why her leaving affects me so, she always lied, and she abandoned my father and I. Hurt my whole family and has blocked me out of her life completely. I’ve accepted the fact she isn’t coming back so has my dad, yet on quiet nights like this I recall her playing Fox News in the living room and the smell of freshly made coffee brewing. I find myself asking why she left so suddenly why she took me with her then randomly dropped me.
Everyone tells me its not my fault and I know their telling the truth, it isn’t my fault. Yet I still miss having a mother, not her as a person but what she stood for. She stood for someone that believed in my dreams supports my reaching towards them and now thats left I found myself asking if there really worth reaching for; she gave up why shouldn’t I. Cause I may be my mothers daughter but I am far from the likeness of that woman.
This day 1 year ago.
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